Nature Conspiracy


Leonardo DiCaprio, Bill Gates, Melinda Gates propose a DiCaprio/Gates ticket for 2020 that sees Leonardo DiCaprio running for president of the U.S. with Bill Gates and Melinda Gates as co-vice presidents.

Because I’m a glass-is-half-full kind of girl, I try to find some sort of positive take-away in every situation. One thing I learned from disgraced former president Richard M. Nixon, America’s 37th: it can be handy to have an enemies list. Of course his got him into trouble. So taking several lessons from history, I will start with my hero list.

First, it should be specified that when I zoom up for the big picture, the only thing that really matters is the health of that beautiful blue marble hanging in space —earth, our planet and home. Without that, there is nothing. It doesn’t matter that I love my family, love my neighbor, my pets. Without a sustainable, healthy planet on which to live, they’re not going to be around, and neither is anyone else. It’s the issue of paramount importance. While we’re on the subject, let’s pause to reflect on the Paramount 100th anniversary logo, with its lovely flyover of an alpine lake, sweeping through clouds and swirls of stars to arrive at the top of the Matterhorn. It’s epic, and illustrates a pristine ecosystem. Being also the emblem of the publicly traded Viacom, it is also a fine example of how the natural world and capitalism can co-exist.

In terms of balancing these overlapping interests for an overall good, President Barack H. Obama, No. 44, was genius. Contemporaries on either side of history fall short of his high mark, so he is first among heroes. His efforts have been Herculean, writ large across the planet. (Spoiler alert: those attempting to foil that progress are frontrunners for the scintillating enemies list to come!)

Among the earthbound, efforts of the actor and private citizen Leonardo DiCaprio have been outstanding. We’re going to say the same for the efforts of director and occasional Leo cohort James Cameron, but the actor has the edge for making time to care even through his young, wild prettyboy phase, a commitment that continues to this day. He is 42.  Obama was 47 when elected president. Theodore Roosevelt was the youngest to take office at 42, in 1858. (Click for a list of presidents by age.) I think you see where I’m going with this.

I’d like to be the first to propose a DiCaprio/Gates ticket for 2020. Technically, I guess it would be Bill Gates, but in actuality we’d be getting a two-fer: Bill and Melinda. Possibly Green Party, maybe Independent. This is a slam-dunk, a win-win, a home run, satisfying as it does the everyman apsirational goal of self-made success with movie star charm, actual conscience and computer geek smarts. Okay, I just looked this up so I’m getting this information in real-time, just as the American people will when DiCaprio/Gates begins its campaign: Leonardo DiCaprio is the son of a legal secretary and an underground comix artist, producer and distributor of comic books.

Screen-grab from 2012 Paramount 100 anniversary logo

Created by penniless Hungarian immigrant Adolph Zukor, Paramount Pictures marked its 100th anniversary in 2012, creating a spectacular new flying logo to mark the occasion. Click to play logo.

Although it’s hard for me to get as excited as I’d like to be right now, since I am trying to motor through this blog piece in time to post some Facebook pictures and still make it to dinner with friends, this picture could not be more perfect! Humble roots and superhero bona fides. You needn’t have seen The Candidate or even been paying particular attention through the last few election cycles to know that when it comes to national popularity contests it cannot get any better than this!

A president with the Boy Scout appeal and blameless reputation of Mr. DiCaprio, who combines the cache and commercial allure of Jay Gatsby with civic-mindedness worthy of the Kennedys is perfect. Glamour and gravitas. Good for America, but with a high fun quotient. DiCaprio is single, we’d have our own Oval office edition of The Bachelor. I’m not going to lie, the photo ops have gotten me halfway there, but it’s more than that.

DiCaprio with Bill and Melinda babysitting. It’s a flawless plan!  Bill Gates is only 61, but be honest — you thought he was older! He looks older, but in him we get relatively youthful 61-year-old genes with the informed yet slightly doddering professorial vibe I predict can be a win with the Bernie Sanders crowd. Kind of like the Gates Foundation annexing the U.S. government. I find that much less objectionable than cooption by the Trump Organization.

My deepest respect is reserved for those who revere the environment and the planet. DiCaprio’s efforts have been stellar and he’d clearly put the U.S. at the forefront of global environmentalism. We’ll detail his achievements in a future post. As for Gates, well, he’s done nothing to screw up the environment, and these days that’s saying a lot. He is the person who deserves the most credit for the digital revolution — Microsoft having put the “personal” in computing. And even today, the company is a category leader in AI. If it’s doing that well with “artificial” intelligence, imaging how they’ll fare with actual intelligence. Lovin’ this idea!

Trump’s ascent to the White House seems to have triggered a public mania for celebrity politicians. Which brings me to the other point of this article, my enemies list.

It is with mixed feelings that I absorbed the news of Stephen Bannon’s ouster from his presidential advisory. Okay, I admit, I was mostly thrilled! But it did result in my enemies list being outdated before it was even published. Well, I guess I can still detest him at Breitbart News (although I believe he is too insignificant there to merit real animus).

But Bannon left some trash behind on Capitol Hill, and that human sludge is named Scott Pruitt. The former Oklahoma senator and attorney general is (thanks, apparently, to a lot of championing by Bannon), nominally the 14th head of the Environmental Protection Agency, although to call him such is “fake news.” With Pruitt in charge, there is nothing “protective” about it. Under this lunk head’s watch, it’s more accurately the Environmental Rejection Agency.

Interestingly, it was Richard Nixon who created the EPA in 1970. What a great idea! The one to create an “enemies list” one isn’t so bad either.

Here is some reading list for those like me who revel in reviling Pruitt.

The New York Times’ Paul Krugman: Trump and Pruitt, Making America Polluted Again.

National Resources Defense Council’s Brian Palmer: I’ve Got a Beef with Scott Pruitt

Los Angeles Times’ David Horsey: EPA’s Scott Pruitt is Trump’s Most Adept and Dangerous Hatchet Man

Sierra Club Team: Five Things You Didn’t Know About Polluting Scott Pruitt

The Guardian’s Oliver Milman and Dominic Rushe: EPA Head Scott Pruitt’s Emails Reveal Close Ties with Fossil Fuel Interests


Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert De Niro in "This Boy's Life"

Talent Scout: Casting about for a candidate likely to trumple Dumpf? Leonardo DiCaprio was born to play the role! Seen here as a cub with Robert De Niro in This Boy’s Life. (Photo: Takashi Seida / Warner Bros.)


Leonardo DiCaprio for President 2020

Leonardo DiCaprio in 2020? The Green Party can certainly use a bit of color. (Leonardo DiCaprio photographed at the 2016 World Economic Forum by Fabrice Coffrini/AFP. Collage by